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Forgiving a cheater: Are you really over it?

When you love someone it can become impossible to imagine life without them, but all that can change in the blink of an eye if someone cheats. Forgiving a cheater and getting back with them can seem like a straightforward task but it actually require a lot of patience and dedication. First of all, you need to get over the fact that he cheated on you, even though you might not be over it. Forgiving a cheater won't happen overnight, in fact no one really knows how long it takes to forgive a cheater completely, or if it's even possible.

Should you forgive him because you love him?

Being in love with someone can make you do crazy things, like forgiving him of cheating on you. Just because you are in love with him doesn't mean that you should forgive his actions. In fact, it means the exact opposite: the more you love someone, the more it will hurt to find out that he cheated, and the harder it'll be to forgive his actions. Whereas when you don't really care for someone, you won't mind if they sleep around because you're probably doing the same. In the end, I guess it all depends on how it went down. If your boyfriend cheated on you and then immediately came clean the next morning while showing genuine remorse, this might be a good reason to forgive him of cheating. But if you caught him cheating and it's obvious that he was never going to tell you about it, send him back to Tauranga.

Is he truly serious about fixing the relationship?

A great way to find out if you should forgive him for cheating is to pay attention to how serious he is about fixing the relationship. If he thinks everything is perfect and will instantly go back to normal he obviously doesn't have too many brain cells in his head. But if he's made it clear that he will do anything in his power to restore your relationship, and that he is serious about making it stronger than ever before, you should give him another chance.

Is this person the love of your life?

Finding the love of your life is extremely rare, but it can actually happen. If you're happily married to the love of your life and they randomly come home one day and tell you that they cheated on you, what else can you really do but forgive them. If they are sincere and apologetic, you can't really hate them forever, right? Sure, it's going to hurt but things will get better as long as you're both willing to try. People make mistakes, but don't let your pride get in the way of reconciling with the love of your life.

Is he owning up to his mistake?

If your boyfriend cheated on you and he got caught, you need to make sure that he is owning up to his mistake. If he keeps blaming it on the girl or the alcohol, he really isn't showing you that he's responsible. In order for him to be forgiven, he needs to own up to his mistake, say sorry, promise you to never do it again and then keep his promise. He needs to prove that he deserves to be forgiven, or else it just isn't worth your time.